Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
