So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
