I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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