I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
sex in a hospital.. check
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
