oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
