That's intense
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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