hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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