is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
