So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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