they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
