i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
