Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
