that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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