A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
