The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
