True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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