She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
