I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
