Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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