By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
