Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am naked and annoyed.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
