the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
