Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
