How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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