Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
