Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
