there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
