Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
