In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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