i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
