I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
