My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
