His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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