OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
