How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
