You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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