I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
