even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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