he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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