I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
