There is no way he is gay with that hair.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
