I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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