Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is my gift to your gina
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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