it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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