you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
