Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
