I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
