Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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