what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
