I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
