I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
