that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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