no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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