That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
