She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
