rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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